As you may know by now I just became a Dad for the first time. Gabriel Jonathan Clark was born on the 7th of May at 0023 weighing 4.04 kilos. It's been a wonderful experience so far with feeding, burping, nappy changing, washing, cuddling, power napping and laughing being the basic routine in my life. I can't wait to see how he will grow up but at the same time I want to seize every second and stare at him!
"God gave them his blessing and said: Have a lot of children!" Genesis 1:28
I'm sure that just like when I got married, as this new venture develops God will have new important lessons to teach me about my relationship with Him. I can't wait to learn them. As I was thinking about caring for Gabriel I started to think about how starting a church plant and being a Dad have their similarities. Here are 5 of them:
1) You are never prepared by the time it starts!
No matter how much you think you're prepared there is always more you should have done, read or planned. You can't see everything that will happen and there will always be curve balls thrown your way. The lesson is prepare, prepare and prepare some more but don't be fooled, you are not prepared enough.
2) You knew it would be hard but it is much harder than you thought!
I heard lots of people tell me being a Dad is tough and I should get the rest in while I could. Believe me I listened to their warnings as I knew it would be no walk in the park. But now I'm doing it those sleepless nights are way harder to deal with than I ever imagined. I knew when I got into church planting that over 70% fail and that it'd be tough but the reality has been harder than I ever dreamed. I sometimes think if God had really told me what it would have been really like, would I have started in the first place?
3) There's plenty of advice out there but in the end you have to decide what's best!
People always have advice on where you're going wrong, what you need to do and what your priorities should be. There is plenty of helpful advice offered that is great and well appreciated. On the other hand though there is a lot of rubbish. Even if people have never done it themselves, met you, your child or visited your church they know exactly where you're going wrong. In the end though it's mainly just opinion. There is no clear manual to being a Dad or church planting (even though there are plenty of books that claim to be just that) and you have to use prayer and common sense to really figure it out.
4) It has to depend on someone!
Gabriel can't do much at the moment. He can cry really well, sleep, stare and wriggle. Oh and today he demonstrated that he could projectile poop, quite a sight I'll tell you! At this point in Gabriel's life he needs his parents to do everything. We need to feed him, change him, dress him and protect him. If we didn't do it he would just die. One of the tough things I've found in the early days of church planting is that no matter how much we planned if I wasn't there one week things didn't go well. Now a few years on it can work quite well without me for a while. But the dream is that some day soon as leaders grow and develop the church will leave home and be able to stand on its own two feet. For now I'm there for them both and I want them to know they can rely on me.
5) It's a messy job with amazing rewards!
I was warned before Gabriel came that I'd soon become obsessed with poop. That I'd talk with complete strangers about it's colour, texture and frequency. Oh and that I share those disgusting stories about poo and pee flying everywhere as you try and change a nappy. I was convinced they were wrong... They weren't. I'll spare you the details but to put it bluntly you have to deal with a lot of poo. The reward of holding your clean baby after a nightmare experience is awsome! Just holding him and smelling him is amazing! In a small church plant things don't often run smoothly and it can be very stressful. With not many people to call on you have to do most of the work yourself (yes even cleaning the toilets). And on top of that you are helping people through tough times. However, when you see someone growing in their faith or falling in love with the Bible for the first time all the messy jobs are worth it.
That was just my five. Can you think of any more? Drop them in the comments below.
BenAboutLondon
